Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Wacky Wednesday

So here are some funny letters a friend forwarded. Happy Hump Day!


Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely,

Unicorns


Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,

Logic


Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely,

The Titanic


Dear J.K. Rowling,

Your books are entirely unrealistic.. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?

Sincerely,

Anonymous


Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada


Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

Sincerely,

Google


Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely,

1985


Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely,

That Little Triangle


Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely,

God


Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,

Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely, Stevie Wonder


Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely, Sarah Palin


Dear Mary,

Just admit that you slept with someone else. This is getting out of hand.

Sincerely, Joseph


Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.

Sincerely, Parents Everywhere


Dear Batman,

What was your power again?

Sincerely, Superman


Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely, Alcohol


Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,

The Mayans



Dear iPhone,

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.

Sincerely,

Every iPhone User


Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,

Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?

Sincerely,

Terrified


Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up...

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore


Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephant