Friday, May 20, 2011

Rapture

Well, I just wanted to say good-bye and happy traveling to all those people who will be whisked away tomorrow at 6pm in the rapture. Don't forget to write!

What I'm more amazed about is the zaniness going on around the zaniness. I just might take part in a post rapture looting party. Then, of course, there's a few enterprising folks making "real" money off of the chosen ones by taking in their pets. I mean, seriously. Google "pet rapture" and you will be amazed at how many companies sprung (sprang?) up to take care of the pets left behind. I love this one - which starts out with:

"We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus."


People really are paying for these services. I know there are no refunds, but I'm assuming the people will get their beloved animals back when they disappointingly discover that their bodies & souls are still here on planet earth. If any of these hopeful people donated all their stuff and/or money to someone, I hope the folks who took it are nice enough to give it back. Please tell me that landlords didn't really turn off the utilities. Well, I suppose there's nothing wrong with planning. Life is a terminal disease, after all.

You have to give these believers credit - they're staying true despite all the naysayers. Of course they've had practice, they went through this before back in 1994 (although they had company with John Hinkle's followers). I mean, what are all these people getting wrong? The Romans thought it was all over back in A.D. 79 with the explosion of Pompeii. Londoners thought they were doomed (or saved) for sure in 1666.

The Jehovah's Witnesses have been getting it wrong over and over since 1914. At least they weren't alone, with several erroneous dates given by William Miller (1843 and 2 dates in 1844), Chuck Smith (1988), and Edgar Whisenant (1988, 1989, 1992, 1995+, he died in 2001 or he'd probably still be warning us). Some Koreans got ready in 1992. Of course, the appearance of Haley's comet has been ringing in the day of doom every 76 years, and planet alignments always create panic (or excitement). Of course, we can't forget the dire consequences of our visit by Hale-Bopp in 1997 when several followers took their lives to make sure they got onto the comet's tail to heaven.

How to keep track of all the failed predictions? I'm not sure why everyone is picking on Harold Camping, I mean Pat Robertson's been warning of the rapture since the 1980s, joining forces with Falwell in 1/1/2000. Richard Noone thought we'd be iced in by now (2000). Of course, you can't forget the highly anticipated 666 rapture (06/06/06). Thank goodness that didn't happen or what would we have done without Pres Bush and Cheney? Even a computer has gotten into the guessing game. I mean this is all just ridiculous.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be preparing for the real end of the world on December 21, 2012. Not that I really believe that. Sir Isaac Newton guaranteed it wouldn't happen before 2060.