Friday, February 3, 2012

US Politics

Is anyone sick of U.S. politics? Even if you're not American, you probably can't help but follow along just a little bit - if only because it's so hard to look away from a train wreck. I read the headlines every morning and just shake my head. I need an outlet and have been debating adding a tab to the blog linking you to Renee's Rants or Say What? I'd use that page to plop down the ridiculous things I've heard that week. Anyone who wanted to comment could, of course. What I've been struggling with is how to keep it somewhat lighthearted. That's rather hard to do when one of the quotes is a congressman using The Bible to explain why teachers in his state (Alabama) should not be given raises (teaching is a calling), while then giving legislators a 67% raise (so they wouldn't be tempted to take bribes).  Is that funny? Maybe in a psycho hysterical kind of way. So I'm still working on it. But I did find these and thought you'd get a laugh out of them if you haven't already heard them before.

Politicians and diapers should be changed frequently and all for the same reason.  ~José Maria de Eça de Queiroz, translated from Portuguese

We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate.  ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts.  After all, we've been voting for boobs long enough.  ~Clarie Sargent, Arizona senatorial candidate

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?  ~Author Unknown
 
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.  ~Clarence Darrow

Politicians say they're beefing up our economy.  Most don't know beef from pork.  ~Harold Lowman

Don't vote, it only encourages them.  ~Author Unknown

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.  ~Oscar Ameringer
   
Of course, The problem with political jokes is they get elected.  ~Henry Cate, VII -  Too true... 

And then there's Plato: Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.  Hmm - maybe I should run...   

And a couple of late night jokes:

Studies are showing that Republican candidates are buying a lot of their ad time on the Weather Channel. You can tell because last night, the weatherman blamed the cold front on immigration and gay marriage. Conan O'Brien     

Rick Santorum says Newt Gingrich is too hot, Mitt Romney is too cold, but he's the “Goldilocks candidate.” Yes, nothing gets voters excited like comparing yourself to tepid porridge. Craig Ferguson 

A woman in Illinois is auctioning off a 2005 Chrysler that once belonged to President Obama. You can tell it was Obama's car because it gets out to a fast start, and then stalls for the next three years. Jimmy Fallon

President Obama has been working on a new plan to boost tourism in America by making it easier for foreigners to get into the United States. We have that already. It's called Mexico. Jay Leno

Ron Paul was not in Florida, he was campaigning up in Maine. They think he was afraid that if he went to Florida, they'd grab him and put him in an old folks home. Jay Leno

According to new polls that just came out, Mitt Romney does very well with Republican voters who make more than $200,000. Or as Romney calls them, “trailer trash.” Conan O'Brien

There - now you're ready for the weekend. I'll work on my other page and see how it goes. 

On a more somber note - Ross students have done a great job coming up with ways to raise funds for Elvis's family. Tomorrow (Saturday) they'll have food for $25EC + auction off various donated items. They'll have t-shirts for sale too (Facebook).  Just be at the LoveShack from 12:30-6pm. The Bamboo Lounge will then pick up the mantel and offer drink specials @ 8PM. All proceeds will go to Elvis's family.

I think I'm starting to get paranoid. Fireworks went off the other night and before I could identify them for what they were, I thought we were under fire. Sheesh.