I suppose we'll have one more beach day with our departing friends on Saturday and then they're outta here on Sunday. Sniffle. I liked this as a pick-me-up:
|Outside a children's hospital ward. Fun.|
We're still waiting....
Just for laughs:
Even though the Olympics take place during Ramadan, some Muslim athletes said they will not fast during games. Then, after sampling the British food, they said, on second thought, fasting sounds good. Conan
To prepare for the Republican Convention, a strip club in Tampa, Florida has hired a Sarah Palin look-a-like to perform. This stripper is so much like Sarah Palin, she actually has written on her hand, 'take off top, shake breasts, swing around pole.' –Jay Leno
Political experts say the perfect candidate would be charismatic, well-versed on policy and ready to step in as President on a moment’s notice. Hey, don’t you think if the Republicans had somebody like that, they’d be running them for President? –Jay Leno
House Republicans held their 33rd vote to repeal Obama’s healthcare law. It was mostly a symbolic vote that accomplished nothing — or as Congress calls that, a vote. - Jimmy Fallon
And in the spirit of the Olympics - here are supposed questions people asked folks during the winter Olympics in Canada. Some of the answers are a hoot:
Q: Will I be able to see polar bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy).
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can you give me some information on hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys Choir schedule ? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays ever Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Tweaked for Australia:
Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.
Q: My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper to Australia. Will you let her in? (South Africa)
A: Why? We have toilet paper here.
Q: Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two? (UK)
A: What's the time frame?
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: This HAS to be have been asked by a blonde.