Social Networking

So I was just reading about yet another social networking site, this one Google+. How many sites do we need to keep going to and putting all our personal crap on? I walk a fine line on the blog, and even cross it occasionally, but don't feel the need to update it every other second (nor did I show you the ugly bite/infection I had on my leg last month). Someone once told me I wasn't a true blogger because I didn't update my site every day. Fine with me. Others are telling us on Twitter every time they have a bowel movement. Or sending us stupid questionnaires on Facebook. Anyone still sending music playlists via MySpace? Even LinkedIn keeps harassing me. How did I end up with 5 email addresses? And now, we've got Google+. I must be getting old because, I really don't want to switch or add yet another frickin' social service to my mix. The only reason I'm on Facebook is because businesses are and it's the main way I'm finding out what's happening on the island. Sometimes though, all I want to do is this: .


I love technology (would rather text than talk and online banking/investing has been our savior). I'm a computer geek, no doubt about it, but I'm heading for overload. I'm a bit jealous of those who can just disconnect and walk away, but if you're still working that's a bit impractical. If you've got family, they won't be pleased either. I can't even figure out how to work Michael's Blackberry, but I'm glad I waited because it's becoming passe already and phones like iPhone are becoming all the rage and they're easier to use (someday I might even be able to afford one). I'm hoping I can skip this latest fad too. I'll wait until we all have our own personal drones following us every second of the day so we can all be like the Kardashians (and other 24/7 reality "stars") and broadcast our whereabouts and doings to everyone all the time effortlessly. I'll never have to type again. The drones will be like mini-blimps with lots of little screens and a scrolling news bar so I can see what everyone else is doing while I walk into an open manhole or something. Of course, all the people around me won't notice because they'll be staring at their own blimps, but all my followers will see it and send help.

I was also wondering - am I the only one who hears an Indian accent when I online chat with a customer service representative? I had to ask my bank a question the other day, so started a convenient online chat with "Tim." When he typed "Hello, a very warm welcome to you in chat! My name is Tim. I will be delighted to assist you" (really), I just couldn't help but read it back with a Delhi accent (wait, I just did it again). Here's what I heard (video):



Speaking of technology time to get back to my book edits. Despite my some-time desire to throw this machine out the window (and the twice/week power outages), I would much rather have this than an old-fashioned typewriter or sheep's blood on papyrus or something. I'd have chiseled an awful lot of stone by now. Plus, without the internet and the web, I wouldn't have been able to share these thoughts with you. Think of how lacking your day might have been without this post. OMG, maybe we should all disconnect...

Happy Birthday America!

Happy 4th of July fellow Americans! So while I was trying to find a video and joke to match what I posted for my Canadian neighbors a few days ago, I came across a video where Americans were asked to sing the national anthem, and of course, no one could. Yeah, well, I can't either. When I Googled the lyrics for the The Star Spangled Banner, I was shocked at its length.

I mean here's Canada's national anthem (although, they do have 3 versions - English, French, and Inuktitut:

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Nice and simple. Then I couldn't help but think of Edelweiss, what I thought was Austria's national anthem - you know, the one the Sound of Music's Van Trappe family sang in defiance of the German's impending occupation? Also simple. Except that it's not Austria's national anthem. The song was written by Rodgers & Hammerstein just for the movie. Just as I was feeling stupid about this, I read that in 1984 President Reagan actually played it for Austria's President, also thinking it was their anthem. Duh. Their real anthem is a bit more complicated, but check out ours:

O! say can you see by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O! say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
’Tis the star-spangled banner, O! long may it wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion,
A home and a country, should leave us no more?
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps’ pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave,
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war’s desolation.
Blest with vict’ry and peace, may the Heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust;”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Are you kidding me??? Are we at all surprised that this was a poem written by a lawyer? If that isn't long enough for you, Oliver Wendell Holmes added a fifth stanza to the song in 1861 when he got all ticked off over the Civil War (and yes school kids had to sing it).

When our land is illumined with liberty's smile,
If a foe from within strikes a blow at her glory,
Down, down with the traitor that tries to defile
The flag of the stars, and the page of her story!
By the millions unchained,
Who their birthright have gained
We will keep her bright blazon forever unstained;
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave,
While the land of the free is the home of the brave.

Well, at least the anthem was set to the tune of an old English drinking song called To Anacreon in Heaven (really). I think we need a new national anthem - maybe this time written by Justin Bieber. I'll bet that one would be really simple.

Your joke (its pathetic, but my pickings were slim):

Two brothers have a lifelong dream to immigrate to America. They work hard and save their money. After many years, they have saved enough money and finally emigrate into New York.

Before they begin building their new lives in America, they decide to see some of the famous places they dreamed of for so long; the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, the Rockettes, and others. Eventually, they make their way to Coney Island.

As they stroll down the beach, taking in all the newness of America, they see a very large billboard that reads: "HOT DOGS," with a big arrow pointing down to a little hot dog stand. Being hungry and seeing that having an American hot dog would be something new, they decide to try one. So they order two hot dogs and sit on a nearby bench to enjoy another piece of Americana.

The first brother sets his hot dog in his lap, unfolds the paper wrapper, looks at his hot dog for a moment, and suddenly wraps it back up.

He then turns to his brother and says, "What part of the dog did you get?"
Here's Robin Williams take on being an American flag:



We'll be saluting America from Mr. X's Shiggidy Shack, where there will be concerts on the beach, a buffet, and fireworks! Hope you all have a fun and safe day!

Happy Canada Day!

Since Island Babble has such a large Canadian following (thanks guys!), I thought I'd give you all a shout out.




And I'll leave you with this - have a good day!

Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell.

The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"

The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat.

The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?"

Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."

This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage.

The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."

The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Toronto so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's this nice."

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth.

The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians.

He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!!

The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two???"

The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup."

Monkey Win

I wanted to give a big high five to the activists in Florida who stopped a shipment of green/vervet monkeys from leaving St Kitts for a trip to a U.S. research lab. Yay to British Union for the Abolition of Vivisection (BUAV), who got a tip about the delivery, and to the Animal Rights Foundation of Florida for shaming IBC Airlines into not only canceling the shipment, but joining other airlines into never transporting primates for research again (article). That's right, IBC will join the ranks of other airlines who have agreed not to take part in this crappy practice. United Airlines, Virgin Atlantic, British Airways, Northwest Airlines, Qantas Airways, South African Airways, Delta Airlines and China Airlines we solute you. The rest of you suck.

I am going to say it again. I realize the monkeys are a problem here and something needs to be done. That said, I doubt shipping off a few here and there is going to put a dent in the problem, so why send them off for torture? I still think more research needs to be done a birth control options. If $ is an issue (the people who catch them here make A LOT of $), then how about putting them into a sanctuary so tourists can visit them? And for those of you insist that it's necessary for human health care, I send you to a previous blog entry on the subject. Who can forget when Michael had a touching moment when he released a bunch of caged monkeys from a cage located on privately-owned property?

Apparently, St. Kitts had stopped the export of monkeys for this purpose for a while, but then debated it again in June 2010 (article). I'm not aware of a decision being made, but obviously it has, and not in favor of the primates. Why does everything always have to be done the "sneaky" way? Hey - Dr. Timothy Harris - did you think no one would find out? STOP! The "activists" are still watching and will implore you to stop the exports again. Stop the shipments because you're a compassionate human and not just because you're being pressured to do the right thing by other compassionate human beings. Jeez.


The two companies that trap the monkeys on this island are St Kitts Primate Resources International and St Kitts Biomedical Research Foundation. Oddly (apply sarcasm here), I couldn't find either of these NGOs online. You guys suck. The monkeys were being shipped to Three Springs Scientific, a Pennsylvania-based company. Hmm, they're not online either. A business profile says they employ two people. Really? Well, they've been in business for 21 years, so it sure doesn't take a whole lot of people to do something sucky.

Luckily, it doesn't take a whole lot of people to do good things either. :) Wonder if we could adopt all those monkeys who just dodged this bullet...You know, before someone like American Airlines steps in to do the dirty work. Sigh.

Hmmm

Ok, it's so hot & humid that my body lotion has liquified. I'm not kidding. I suppose that's fine because when I put it on, my skin is so moist that nothing sinks in anyway. I'm a human pizza pie with all this grease! Eew! The heat is the talk of the town, except at dusk when we start whining about the bugs. Ah yes, life in the tropics.

So, I've been trying to come up with an idea for my next book. I actually think I'm going to write about Mr. X and the Shiggidy Shack and see where that takes me. If any of you readers has a story to tell about Mr. X, his water-based business, or his restaurant send it on!

Before I made that decision, I thought I'd try to drum up any subject that made people wonder - why is that? This led me to to a couple of websites that made me laugh. See if you've ever thought hmmmmm.

• Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?




• What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?




• Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?




• Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?




• Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?




• How come there aren't B batteries?




• How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?




• Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?




• How is it possible to have a civil war?




• Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?




• If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?




• If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?




• What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?




• Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?




• Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?




• Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?




• Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?
  




• Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your a**?




• Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob and I am an alcoholic'?




• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?




• Is French kissing in France just called kissing?




• What do people in China call their good plates?




• Why is the word abbreviation so long?
  




• Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  




• If a cow laughed, would milk come out it's nose?




• Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?




• Why does Porky Pig wear a towel around his waist after a shower, and then remove the towel and put on a shirt with no pants?




• If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?




• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?




• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?




• If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Hmmm.

OMG!

Ok, this article is actually over a year old, but it's the first time I ever read it, so it's new to me! I love the write-up of this ridiculous story. Thanks Wendy for sending to me, it really made me laugh. Enjoy:







Can I just say that I hope this woman's not back on the road?

I'm Gonna be Published!

So it's finally official. I'm gonna be a real author. Last summer, I wrote a book about our sailing adventure and figured I'd just self-publish the thing and let friends and family get a kick out of it. Then I decided, why not send it to a few publishers that specialize in this kind of book and see if I got any takers - that was in October. In mid-January, I was amazed when I got an email from McGraw-Hill asking if I was still interested in collaborating with a publisher. Well, yes, I was as a matter of fact. Luckily, by then I had also finished a major editing job of the book and was ready to send the masterpiece out in full form. The next thing I knew we were going back and forth over contract negotiations and as of yesterday, had a signed contract in my hands. Slap my palm!!! Wahoo!!!

You see a letter like this and you feel like you've been accepted to University all over again. Somebody likes me - they really like me!



I had planned on calling the tome Sailing BY Dummies (instead of FOR) and legally could have gotten away with it, but since M-H normally goes head to head with the publisher for the FOR Dummies series, they didn't want the hassle of a likely fight over it. You'll note the looooong title the book currently is. Not sure if it'll stay that way.



So stay tuned. I'll be putting excerpts out there to wet your whistle and will let you know when it's available for purchase. It's supposed to be out almost a year from now - May 2012.

Ha!

Ok, these are funny!! Got 'em from Huffington Post.

Probably has a dog named "Fire."

Really? The deputy really said that?

Oh, is that all?

Must have been a New Yorker.

Duh.

I love criminals (& cops) with a sense of humor.

A burrito???

Did Rumsfeld write this?

They scare me too.

What was in that thing?
Burp. Do you smell bacon?

Why people have dogs.

Getting Stuff

So did you miss me? Got a little busy doing stuff that kept me out of touch, but didn't exactly give me blogger material. Neither is what's to come, but you just might find it interesting anyway.

I learned after having a cat that had all kinds of health issues, thyroid and urinary tract crystals, that a lot of what's in pet food is pretty poisonous to your pet. There are things that look great to humans, but are actually toxic to animals. There are also things that don't look good to humans, and are also toxic to animals. Why do would they do this? Why not? Apparently no one cares and animals, including pets, are pretty much considered commodities, so there isn't a whole lot of oversight there. It's not so bad for dogs, who really can eat just about anything (most have evolved and are actually not true carnivores anymore), but cats are a bit different. Either way, what's being put in the food is truly questionable. If there were no other options, then so be it, but there are, so why not do the right thing?

After doing some research, I decided that Halo was the way to go, and when we adopted our 2 kitties here, I was able to sneak a shipment in and was thrilled when it lasted over a year. We ran out 2 weeks ago. Boo. So I had to figure out how to get some more brought in for as cheap as possible. Other than a few small USPS packages from family, we haven't had anything shipped to us, so I wasn't exactly sure how to go about a larger import. Here's what it took to get eight 6-pound bags of cat food in from the States:

Petco has Halo and they ship internationally - Yay! The shipping was almost triple the cost of the food. Boo.

I knew that some shipping companies advertised barrels from Florida to St. Kitts for about $75, so thought I could go that route. Shoot, maybe I'd fill the rest of the barrel with kitty litter. So I sent 2 companies an email and got an answer back from one of them, Tropical Shipping. I found an online calculator to tell me what the cubic feet 8 6-lb bags would come to, and then asked for a quote. $54US (no barrel necessary). Hmm, from about $350US to $54US ($80 if I wanted it insured, which I didn't). $54? I'll take it. Now all I had to do was get the food to the shipping warehouse. So, for $38US, I got Petco to ship to the Miami warehouse within just 2 days.

I had been emailing someone in Miami, but got a call from someone in St. Kitts re-asking me all the info they needed and then received a form to complete that had questions like, what was the temp on the boat, was it bonded, etc. - um, I don't have the slightest idea. When I emailed back that I was clueless, I was told they'd finish it.

The shipment was only supposed to take a week to arrive, so I was very excited to see the Tropical Shipping container ship anchored off shore. I told the kitties, they should be too. Then I got a call from Miami asking me when they were supposed to receive the food from Petco. Huh? Before I could figure out what happened, they called me back and told me that the package had arrived without the reference # (which I find hard to believe, as that was in the "Ship To" line), so they hadn't realized it had been shipped. It was on the container after all. Yippee! Let's wave to our food - meow!



We got the call exactly a week after we had placed our order to come sign our papers, pay up, ad then go to customs to pick it up. We could have paid extra to have a broker get it, but we're trying to save money, remember? Poor Michael thought he could just run in and grab it, but nooooooo.

Stop 1: Custom holding warehouse - The package was pulled and inspected. Michael got stamp #1 and then was sent to another building. He'd have to come back to get the stuff.

Stop 2: This building had customs logs, and required info to be entered into a computer. The charges were verified and Michael was sent to another building in order to get a document allowing the import of pet food.

Stop 3: Michael got his form, got stamped, paid $1EC ($.37US) and was told to go back to Building #2.

Stop 4: Back at Building #2, Michael paid the Port of Entry fees, got another stamp/receipt confirming fees were paid - $30EC ($11US). Next window, please.

Stop 5: At another window, Michael was asked what the worth of the food was and then charged him $150EC ($56US) in custom duties (70% of the cost of the food). Ouch.

Stop 6: At yet another window, an official performed a final inspection of the documentation, checked off another log book, checked off that the shipment was processed, and gave Michael a final stamp.

Stop 7: Back to the Custom holding warehouse to hand over stamped documentation and then down to another window.

Stop 8: At the final window, Michael was given a vehicle pass so that he could get the package out of the facility.

Stop 9: Michael showed his vehicle pass to warehouse personnel, got a signature, and finally obtained the 2 boxes.

This process took 1 1/2 hours. Not because there were lots of people (there were 3 and they were all going to different windows), but because he kept being sent to the wrong windows/buildings and the buildings were so far apart from each other. Michael was actually driving from place to place. Nothing to it, folks! Thanks, Mikey!

So for about $228 (more than 1/2 of that shipping/customs), I now have 8 bags of cat food. It'll last us a year or more, so I have to tell myself it's less than $20/mo to make myself feel better. Other than the time consuming insanity in customs, the process was pretty painless. Good to know, if we want to bring anything else in. Of course, with a 70% markup, maybe not...

Was it worth it? Well, the kitty breath and poo smells MUCH less than when the cats are fed junk, and they never throw up, so yes, to us it was. Fewer vet bills and healthy felines are certainly worth it as well. Come on how cute is this - Jack was stretched out on the carpet, doing what you see babies/toddlers do all the time. Head up, slowly, slowly sinking, until PLOP, down the face goes into the Cheerios!! In this case it was onto the rug.



What was even more funny, was Michael's flop right next to him.



Kitty play.



Kitty sleep.



Priceless.

Kitties!

Ok, so every time I do a rather "inflammatory" entry, I always counter it with something frivolous. We spent an entire week listening to a cat in heat howl at our windows at all hours, screeching as if lit on fire whenever another cat approached it (which happened often since she was whining to get some action). The darn thing kept spraying our house, making it smell like "cat," which really ticked me off. Now, considering animals have such a keen sense of smell and can tell all kinds of information from a butt sniff, why couldn't this obnoxious female sense that our two cats were fixed? They're not interested - booger off!!!

Had I not had two cats that I love dearly, I might have become much more ill-willed toward this feline during my sleepless nights and hard-to-concentrate days. Instead, I took pictures of my own awesome little furballs and now you're going to have to see my "family" photos. Zura and Jack follow me everywhere. I'm not kidding. I have one day a week that becomes laundry, cleaning, etc. etc. and that day always involves working around two cats that have to be all up in my biz-niss. You'll note that none of these pictures were staged. This is truly what they do all the time, so all I had to do was have the camera with me all day.

Try to do some work? Jack & Zura must attack the paper coming out of the printer.



An attempt at the computer isn't any easier. I got up to get a glass of water and Jack had stolen my chair - Zura had to be nearby too.



When I told Jack to move, this is what happened.



This is Zura's "I'm hungry" look. If I ignore her, she'll walk across the keyboard (and 70% of the time hits my hibernate button).



Fine, I'll just sweep up the floors then. Jack...Zura...



Doesn't matter if it's the long broom or the short one. Of course, they hate their actual brush...



Laundry? Jack in basket; Zura in dryer.



You should see what happens when I put the sheets on the bed. Ok, how about we just skip all that and get some exercise in. Jack gets so in the way, I sometimes have to lock him up on the balcony until I'm done. He's under me while I'm doing push-ups, on my stomach doing crunches...That 2nd picture, I'm doing leg raises.



Let's just skip to the shower. There's Zura checking it out.



Zura waiting on one end for me to get out...



while Jack's on the other.



When I'm done, Jack has to roll around in the towel (he has this fetish with kitchen towels too) and then gives me makeup tips.



When I go to leave, Jack burrows himself into my purse. He only does that when I'm leaving...



They even wait in the window for me to come home (the neighbor's little boy walks by and goes "meow, meow" every time he sees them).



They do just about everything together too. That bird is a very, very lucky bird. The monkey should be relieved too.



A Christmas present for the "grandkids."



They do have different favorite toys though. Zura loves this red marble-type ball I found on the beach.



It's hollow and bounces - which means it can go anywhere. She'll paw the thing and throw it. It's nice she's so easily entertained, but that stupid ball disappears all the time and takes forever to find (it bounces into and under things). Oddly, all the toys she likes I found on the beach (a blue, hollow orb that "used" to be her favorite and a hamburger seed).



Jack likes a little black rubber thingy he came up with after a jaunt in our pot/pan cabinet. It rolls and is also small enough to palm or mouth, so that ends up in the upstairs bedroom, under seat cushions, tossed at me to throw...He does the same with the jingle ball (usually at 2am). I'd say I get 50% of my exercise crawling around looking for 1/4-inch sized toys all over the house.



They're also different in that Jack likes dairy for a treat (a little butter, yummy) and Zura likes salt (she thinks Doritos are heavenly). The two have their favorite places to sit, with Zura exhibiting an incredibly unladylike sprawl. She does this A....lot...!



And of course, they're just plain cute.



Here's Jack on the pillow next to me as I type this. Aaaw. Whoever said cat's are aloof or only care about you for food have never bothered to spend time with them. Every cat I've ever had was this interactive, so whatever. Their loss.

Ok...I'm feeling better. Until next month. If I put some birth control in some cat food do you think...?